Spring is here again

There is something about the newness and renewal of spring that always inspires me. Last year it inspired me to take on a new role in the PTA and to be a Girl Scout brownie troop leader. Well this year, I'm inspired to just keep moving forward because last year I did a lot. I am the PSS (our PTA) co-President and next year/this coming school year I will be the PSS President without a co-leader. I am the troop leader for TWO Girl Scout Brownie troops because so many adorable little angels wanted to join our troop that I started a second troop. I did a 'back-fill' position for 9 months in the public services division for the Oregon State Parks where I was the brochure/news release writer/editor, oversaw the natural resources section of the state fair, helped plan and execute the opening day ceremony for a new state park, co-wrote an edition of the JR Beaver journal "Beaver Tracks" and so much more. It was an absolutely delightful experience and I have to admit I was quite sad to see it end. I still have a job and health insurance so although the job I have isn't as professionally challenging, I am trying to just keep moving forward. Trying to stay focused on the positive. Last year we didn't go on a family campout because I was busy with the state fair, so Ryan has scheduled almost two weeks off this year for a big campout. I personally think it's unrealistic that we will go camping for two weeks, but we'll probably go for 5 or 6 days.  This year the beauty and newness of spring isn't going to get me to sign up to lead twenty thousand different activities, but it is going give me a refreshed perspective on the activities that I am involved in.

I wanted to journal the 'day to day' happenings of our lives and for the past year I really haven't done that. No excuses are to be offered, its just the way life is sometimes. It ebbs and flows and some days I write and others I read. I am trying to remember all that happened since the last time I wrote in here and most of it really has to do with the day to day living of a busy life. Throughout last summer I balanced my time between driving 35 miles south to work then home and another 15 miles north to pick Caitlin up from the International School and then home again. I put about 100 miles per day on my car and pretty much loved every minute of it. We missed so much TaeKwonDo class as a result though that we weren't able to belt test at the end of the summer and that was OK too. It was the first and hopefully last belt test that we will miss, but it again was part of the ebb and flow of life. The summer was interspersed with PTA prep meetings and then school started and two weeks later a new state park opened. Caitlin fell in love with her second grade teacher, for which I am eternally grateful as Ryan and I both had disappointing experiences in 2nd grade. The holiday season was on us before we even knew what happened, and Ryan's other 'mom' Chris was in a rehab center less than a mile from our home for several weeks after a knee replacement surgery just before the holiday season began so we spent a lot of time with her in the evenings.   We took about 10 days around Christmas to go to my mom's where we helped lay hardwood in the house my dad is building for my mom and walking on the beach. Ryan started a new lifestyle habit of healthy eating and exercising last November and he didn't even really deviate for Christmas. [To date he has lost just over 100 lbs!] I am wondering if maybe the beauty of spring will inspire me to take his example and put it to use in my own life. After the holiday rush was completed our Girl Scout rush began. Cookie season starts in January in Oregon and doesn't end until March so for the last couple of months I've been hoppin' like crazy with two troops selling cookies. At one point Caitlin had over 1400 boxes of girl scout cookies in her bedroom. It was crazy! It was also a lot of fun. This isn't the first year she has sold cookies, but it's the first year that the rest of the troop also sold cookies and that  was quite a learning experience. Now we are at the day before Easter and getting ready to head to my parents house again for a holiday. Ryan is on his way home from work, Caitlin is in the hot tub with the neighbor girl and the neighbors parents, and I'm enjoying the peaceful quiet.

Our future plans include (hopefully!) moving into our new home next month, assuming that they actually sign the paper work on the offer they verbally accepted a month ago and we close on time. Hiring a 'babysitter' to stay home with Caitlin this summer instead of sending her to the international school and spending more time together as a family. I want to get in a few hikes, and some more sun this summer but after the constant go go go of the past year, I'm just going to be inspired to keep moving forward.

Today I am...

- The family resource manager; bill payer, appointment maker, playdate arranger...

- The new Co- President of the Boones Ferry Primary P.S.S (Parents/Staff for Students- our PTA).

- A TaeKwonDo Student at Green Belt level and struggling to remember my Poomse (Form).

- The Girl Scout Troop leader to be for my daughters Brownie Toop, (we're Daisy's now).

- A "perfect house for our family" Hunter.

- Wearing flipflops even though its raining so that I can enjoy the lovely pedicure I splurged on yesterday.

- Working full time outside of the home. (12 hour day today- ick)

- A full time mom. Is there such a thing as a "part-time" mom?

- A wife, daughter, sister, friend, texter, facebooker, blogger lady.

- Happy to be alive, grateful for everything I have.

- The dog walker, bird cage cleaner and cat feeder. Wondering why I keep saying "yes" we can get another pet even though we already have a zoo...

Happy Spring Day

The sun is shining today. It's still cool outside, but the bright sun and the tender shoots of new growth around fill me with hope. I am ready for new adventures, for laughter and joy to fill the air.  I'm thinking softball leagues and bicycle rides and picnics in the park. Swing sets and basketball hoops and hikes up to see waterfalls. Flowing skirts and strappy sandals, painted toenails and shaved legs. Open windows, clean and bright with breezes clearing the stagnancy out of my life. I just love this time of year. Everything feels so new and fresh and it inspires me to clean out the old and the clutter. I want to paint the walls, buy new curtains, change the old heavy comforter for a light, brightly colored handmade quilt. I want to paint my currently dark stained dining room table a light country kitchen white. I want to join the church choir and sing praises to the heavenly hosts for this glorious weather.

I let Caitlin wear flip flops to school today for the first time- EVER. It was my own way of celebrating spring with reckless abandon. I may regret the decision when it becomes a fight to wear flip flops everyday, or I might just give in and let her wear what she wants to. After all she's the one who'll have to deal with any unpleasant repercussions, like splinters if she plays on the bark chip filled playground, and really she's only little for such a short time. I want her childhood to be filled with happy cheerful memories. Colorful sandals make her happy and that makes me happy.

I started researching ballet schools today because Caitlin has been asking for lessons again. She took ballet for a couple of years during preschool and it has been 3 years since any formal dance training. The new season and sunshine makes me feel like its possible to fit it into our schedule and budget. I feel like I can do anything and everything that I set my mind to.

I received an email from Caitlin's school principal today inviting me to join the PTA Board for the coming school year. She said, "I thought you would be an amazing addition--bringing leadership, educational perspective, and a heart for contribution."  I felt so honored that I wrote her back to request more details and to express my interest in participating. The timing of the email was just so perfect with my new spring, "I can do anything and everything" attitude, and while it may not be every woman's dream come true to sit on the school PTA, its a little bit of one for me. I have always wanted to be a suburban mom with a happy home, involved in my child's school and life. I love being her Girl Scout troop leader, taking TaeKwonDo with her and I used to, so probably will again, love watching her all dressed up with her hair in a ballerina bun while she participates in ballet lessons. It is such a blessing and a privilege to be a mom. I want to rejoice in every moment of it.

I still have a strong desire to go back to school and change careers, but the urgency is fading. I can do it all, but I don't have to do it all right now. Right now I want to focus on; finding the perfect house to purchase, being the best most positive mom/role model possible, being a loving wife, a supportive friend. I want to focus on the blessings that I have been given rather than those that have yet to find their way into my life. I want to renew my spirit in the joy of Spring!

Happiness is...

Caitlin Rose stopping to smell the flowers in Old Town Sacramento March 2011

 Caitlin Rose getting ready for some chocolate goodness in San Francisco March 2011

The thought of dropping Hershey bars instead of bombs (Travis Airforce Base March 2011)

 Caitlin's Girl Scout troop getting ready to send cookies to a troop of soldiers in Afganistan April 2011

Thankful Thursday

Some days are just discouraging. Today was one of those days for me. Many events frustrated me, some within my control -like getting out the door late this am and some out of my control- like my child needing orthodontia at 7 years old. So I decided that I had a choice about how to react to the days events. I could be angry and frustrated and cranky or I could be grateful and thankful. It was a HARD choice but I decided that ultimately I want to be a role model for my child and I want her to learn to have a spirit of gratitude.  So here is (some of) what I am grateful for today:

Rubber backed floor mats, they protect the car from so many yickies and are removable for cleaning.

Husbands who enjoy fishing and bring home fresh caught trout for dinner.

Automatic soap dispensers.

Pretty wool rugs, recently professionally cleaned.

My bed, with the blankets pulled up inviting me to come snuggle in them.

(Caitlin made) Brownies. Mmmm chocolate goodness.

Dental Insurance. Let me repeat that one... Dental Insurance to pay for the orthodontia that Caitlin apparently needs.

Unconditional Love.

Strawberry Milk.

Girl Scouts and the cookies they sell.

There are so many other things that I am grateful/thankful for today, these ten are just the ones that popped into my mind when I sat down to write this post. On the way to Caitlin's dentist appointment this afternoon we played the "Thankful Game" that I learned about from "Linny" (who has a blog found on the side bar under living simply for a large family) and my grateful list was different. Essentially if you're feeling cranky or someone around you is then every person present has to name 10 things they are grateful for. In about 10 seconds Caitlin had come up with a list of more than 10 items that she was grateful for. She didn't even have to try! She just started spouting them off- her clothes, her pretty shoes, her mommy, TaeKwonDo, her new school bag, learning Spanish, books, Sunday School, our car, her cousins.... And the best part is that it really worked to change both of our attitudes. That quickly she went from frustrated that we left the house without the accessory that she wanted to happy that she is so blessed. And I went from P.O'd that she was whining (again) to proud that she's so aware of all that she has. We had a much happier car ride from then on out. So one last thing that I am grateful for today- Thankful Thursdays and the Grateful Game.

New Computer

I broke down today and bought a new computer with a fancy 23" LED screen. I love it. I feel a little sick about spending the money, but I went to Costco so it was less expensive than it could have been and I really NEEDED the computer. I do all of my banking, bill paying etc online and trying to manage that stuff on a little tiny phone screen just wasn't cutting it anymore. Plus I went to look at another house yesterday, and almost made an offer just because every time I go to look at a house I put on these "I wanna buy a house TODAY" goggles and then the house looks so lovely, even when its not. So.. I looked at this house and remembered what my sister said before I left which was essentially take the darn happy happy lets buy a house no matter what goggles off and consider actually living there. Then consider living there in five years and how that ishy layout is going to really irritate you after five years and how not actually having a backyard with a big dog is going to drive you nuts because sometimes it would be so convenient to just let her out to go potty instead of taking her for a walk. So I looked at the house, was both in love and deeply disappointed at the same time and said "F-this!" I'm going to go buy a computer that works, that comes with a warranty and I'm going to go find a super high paying job so that I can build the house of my dreams, or at least afford to buy the house of my dreams in the town of my dreams. One of the most frustrating parts of this whole home buying process is the fact that if I were willing to move out of the town I live in now I could easily, I mean really really really easily buy a gorgeous huge house for cheap. Like less than 200K cheap. Oh well, there is a reason I'm willing to spend a lot more than that to stay right here. Caitlin is established here, her friends, her school, her church, her Tae Kwon Do. And I'm established here, my friends, my church, my Tae Kwon Do, my library, my checker at the grocery store... And it's close to the river so Ryan can put his boat in the water easily. I really do like it here, in fact I LOVE living in this town where we feel safe and comfortable, where we've lived since Caitlin was only 5 months old. I've walked almost every street (it's a pretty small town), they recognize us instantly when we walk into the local pet store, the principal of Caitlin's school knows our names and not because we've gotten in trouble :) but because she cares enough to get to know her students and their parents.  I love living in a small town where I can pretty much walk everywhere, or bicycle ride everywhere, or if it's "super far" and we have to drive it takes 5-10 minutes maximum. I like that we're just off the freeway so if we want to get outta dodge that's convenient too. I just love my little town and I don't want to move out of it. Which brings me back to the super frustrating house buying process. Everyone loves living in this sweet little community, so the home prices are through the roof! The housing crisis that is wracking our country seems to have missed my community. That's not to say that there aren't homes for sale, it's just that when homes one town North or South are selling for 175-190K an equivalent home in my town is selling for 230-245K. In my price range there are exactly 5 "single family" homes on the market right now. I have looked at all five. One has black mold, two I actually made an offer on even though it needs a new roof, three looks nice but the next door neighbor parks his "monster truck" in his front yard, four backs up to the freeway- literally, you walk out to the back patio and watch the cars drive by, and five (yesterday's viewing) has a chopped up bottom floor with a long skinny living room/dining room combo area and no back yard. I still want house number two, but the owners chose not to even look at our offer and let it go into foreclosure instead. The bank put it up for auction on the court house steps last month, but it didn't sell. So now we wait, to see if someone else lists their home for less than 250K (ok ok for really 230K or less because while I'm willing to go into debt to buy a house, I still want to be able to eat), to see if the bank evicts the people from house number two and lists it as "bank owned", to see if I win the lottery. I don't like waiting all that much- hence the new computer. The good news is that I can easily blog whenever the mood strikes now cause I didn't go into debt to buy the computer.

Wishing for a new computer...

Pretty sad that I haven't updated my blog since September of last year... So much has happened that I didn't document and now I can't even remember all of it. Some highlights include:

- Caitlin successfully mastered riding a bike without training wheels.
- Ryan and Caitlin recieved new bikes for their birthdays.
- We bought a 2010 Prius for me and a Bird for Caitlin.
- Ryan started working weekends- Sadness ensued for all of us.
- Our desktop died and we no longer have a computer at home- more sadness.
- Caitlin and I graduated to Senior Orange Belts in TaeKwonDo -happiness.
- Caitie and I each took 3rd place in our first ever TaeKwonDo Tournament.
- The family got together for Christmas Eve at Chandra's house and then we all went to church together at my church where Caitlin, Amelia and Gabrielle were angels in the childrens play of the Christmas Story.

I don't know when I'll replace my computer- hopefully soon, but I'm mostly just saving all superfulous money so that when I finally find the perfect house to buy I'll have enough for it. Also we're going to drive our awesome new Prius to California to spend Spring Break with Ryan's best friend Jason and his family at the Travis Airforce Base and vacation money is more important than computer money too. So I guess I'll just update my blog periodically when I'm at my mom's house and hopefully I'll remember everything that goes on in our lives between updates. Here are some photo's (that are NOT in cronological order) to enjoy until the next time I'm at a computer with blog access.

We took the cousin's for a ride on the Polar Express Train

Little Christmas Angels.

Caitlin was a "Senorita" for Halloween.

Caitlin and Lucas in Chandra and Mark's back yard- mid June

Mommy's Girl

Caitlin loves a new born baby- this one happens to be her cousin Mason

The park is so fun!

Ginger Bread Night at School

This year's Christmas present- a Quaker Parrot aptly named- Green Feathers.

Loved Mason when he was born in May and by October he was even more fun!

Lucas and Caitie getting ready for some trick or treating

Board Breaking portion of the TaeKwonDo tournament

Happy 7th Birthday and Congratulations on NO training Wheels!

My pretty new car- purchased in November

The Joy in my Life

The title of my last post makes me laugh. I had SOOO many words yet none of them seemed to make their way out of my head and onto the page of a new post. Oh well. I did get to talk to my girlfriends and share in the joy of their lives so I suppose that is what really matters. As for an update on the joy in our lives...well here it is.

Caitlin spent eight wonderful weeks driving to and from work with me each day, and while I worked she studied the lives of various animals from around the world at The International School. They spoke Spanish all day everyday, her language skills grew along with her confidence and we were all sad to see that portion of the summer come to its conclusion. Caitlin also participated in twice a week swimming lessons, twice a week yoga lessons (at T.I.S. ) and twice a week Tae Kwon Do (at 'home') so she was able to grow strong in mind and body. I'm pretty jealous- I want to go to the International school for the summer instead of work! She managed to smash her finger in the door at school one day and broke her middle finger which was an unpleasant event for all of us but she's recovering now- and her finger nail is about to fall off. Yuck. I've put a band aid over it in hopes that it'll stay on a little longer because the thought of a nail-less finger grosses me out.

For the two weeks between the end of T.I.S and the beginning of first grade, we scheduled all sorts of fun activities. We went camping on the coast in Florence for the first week and then back to work for a couple of days followed by a trip to the State Fair and a "daddy day", then a couple of sleepovers with cousins. The camping trip was pretty fun this year because the weather stayed sunny and the company was nice. Our friends Paul and Sam came with their son Dominic. Plus Ryan's Mom, brother Matt, sister Kim and her family all joined us as well. We rode bikes, swam in the lake (ok the kids swam in the lake while the mom's read books on the shore), and spent many hours playing on the campground playground. Ryan went crabbing a couple of times so we had a delicious meal one afternoon, and we even went into town for a day to check out the "old town" shops. About 3/4's of the way through the trip Caitlin decided that she needed more challenges in her life and had us take the training wheels off of her bike. She's not one hundred percent proficient yet, but she's determined and I know that with a little more practice she'll get there. We also made a deal with Caitlin that in exchange for 10 horse back riding lessons, she would speak to Grammie Maggie in Spanish the entire time we were camping. She accepted our offer and followed through except for the time Grammie forgot and spoke to Caitie in English! Poor kid thought that she's was going to lose the deal until we explained that as long as she responded in the language she was addressed in that the deal was still on. Arda came down to spend a day with us and Ryan took all of the kids out on the boat for a tour around the lake. I think everyone agreed that we would go back to that campground for another camping trip because there was just so much to do.

Now here we are only three days out from the first day of first grade and Caitlin has spent the last two nights away from home just to prove that she can. Thursday night with cousins Lucas and Mason at Chandra and Mark's house and then last night with cousins Gioia and Ian at Kim and Rob's house. She has it in her head that she's going to spend the night somewhere else tonight but I think I may put the kabosh on that one. Tomorrow is my birthday after all- I think that she should stay home and go to church with me. We'll see what happens because I like how proud she is of herself for having these successful tear free sleepovers and it's kinda cute the way she likes to push herself to do more and to test her own limits. Either way she's sleeping at home tomorrow and Monday night because after all I am the mom I get to say yes or no in the end.

Too many words.

I have SO many words in my head and no one is awake for me to say them too. AHHH!!! Tonight (OK technically last night, since it's 12.30am) I went to pick up Caitlin from my friend Sara's because Sara was gracious enough to be Caitie's child care provider for this crazy week between the end of public school and the beginning of private summer school, but I was running late and Ryan was already home by the time I was driving past our town (one exit before Sara's), so I stopped to pick him up knowing that I was gonna stay and chat for a while. We got to Sara and Brandon's house where I immediately started visiting with my friend and ignored our husbands and children until they demanded attention, which was when Sara (brilliant woman that she is...) suggested that the men leave to go buy dinner for all of us, then after returning with our food, leave again to go watch a movie at my house while Sara and I stayed at her house to talk "for a little while". This plan was quite lovely and worked out very well, until Sara's husband came home and we weren't done talking. The problem was that he came home at 10.30pm and both children should have been in bed three hours before he came home but they were still up. Well the problem was both the still awake children and the fact that we didn't even cover half of the stuff we need to catch up on... Ahhg! See, now, because I have so many topics left to discuss, I can't sleep. I'm gonna be tired tomorrow, but there are lots and lots of words in my head and they're chasing each other around for lack of better things to do since they can't go anywhere else. And then on top of the words that I didn't get to say to my friend Sara, my friend Megan has been gone on a mission trip for a week and I haven't talked to her in FOREVER so I have a ton of words in my head that are waiting for an opportunity to come out when she's around and I don't know when that's gonna be! I need a whole weekend sans children, dogs and husbands with just my girlfriends so that all the words in my head can escape! Maybe even more than one weekend, maybe a whole week! Sara's step-mom just went on a Silence Retreat and just the thought of not being able to talk for a week makes me shudder. GAH- I have too many words stuck in my head!!

Here we go again..

It's been an emotional roller coaster around here lately, at least in regards to the school district budget cuts and the incredible Spanish Immersion program. They're waffling again on whether or not to retain the program. Grrr. Here's a little background; about three weeks ago the Governor of our esteemed state announced a ginormous budget shortfall in the general fund which then in turn trickled down to an additional 3 million dollar shortfall for our school district. So some brilliant person suggested that they cut the SI program, despite its raging success. Facts were slanted to make the program look as though it was going to cost too much to retain, rumors were spread, tempers raged, and the debate began. It culminated a little over a week ago in a ridiculously long seven hour school board meeting and a vote of 3-2 in favor of retaining the program. A bunch of parents from schools without an SI classroom got mad and filed a grievance. A bunch of teachers from those schools helped. Then a bunch of teachers decided to retire, a couple others accepted positions in other districts and still others were shuffled around within our district and suddenly it appeared that the crisis was over. No one was going to be "layed off" and class sizes weren't going to swell to over 30 kids per class, life was looking good. Unfortunately something has triggered the school board to meet again and the only item on the agenda is the S.I. program. Great, lovely, please make up your freakin' minds! Because I'm not sure how much more I can take of this back and forth. So I've started exploring other options. As it stands, if they vote to cut the program, we can either enroll her in private school or move to another school district and hope that she gets in. I put her on the waiting list for the other school district today and scheduled a tentative interview for Caitlin to under go an assessment at the private school. The private school will accept students after preschool/kindergarten level only if they demonstrate age appropriate language proficiency. I'm not concerned about her proficiency level at all, but I'm extremely concerned about our ability to afford the tuition for the private school. The other school district indicated that if we moved into their school zone, she would be highly likely to make it into their program. I like that option a lot because my friend Sara lives in the same town and works primarily at the school Caitlin would attend. So right now I'm praying that they decide (again!) to keep the program in our district because it would be so much easier all around to stay where we are, but I feel relieved (slightly) that if they do not keep the program, there are alternatives available. Wednesday's the day, so wish us luck!

Only One

I wanna pour my heart out so you'll understand and yet I don't really wanna dump on you cause it won't change anything. Unless you have an extra 6 million dollars just sitting around, in which case I will be HAPPY to pour my heart out and then ask you to give that money to my school district so that we don't have to cut 35 teachers and 15 school days. I am very grateful that during the (SEVEN HOUR) school board meeting last night the decision was made to proceed with the Spanish Immersion program though. Someone asked me on Face book what other program got cut so that my daughter could keep hers and I am equally grateful to be able to answer NONE! I honestly can't say what I would want if it came down to a choice between my child's program and another program in the district. I don't believe anyone would truly feel good about saying, my child's language education is more important than your child's music/art/science/writing/speech/whatever program. The S.I. program was the only one even being considered for elimination and it wouldn't have saved the district any money via elimination which is why I believe they finally came to the conclusion that they did. It probably didn't hurt that as a group of parents we're very dedicated to our children and we mobilized quickly, thoughtfully, professionally and creatively to offer alternative funding choices and make our concerns clear. This experience has certainly taught me about the power a group of dedicated and motivated people can have. My mom has a sign up on her wall- a quote from Helen Keller “I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do.” I'm going to remember that quote while I go forward and I'm going to remember that if enough 'only ones' come together, we'll no longer be 'only one' and our voice will be loud. Then we can take our loud powerful voice to the State Capital and demand that they put education first! Our children are our future and if we don't all wanna end up in yucky nursing homes then we'd better start investing in our future now.

Happy Mother's Day

It's Mother's Day which should make me absolutely thrilled, except I haven't spoken with my own mother yet! Oh well I'm bound to get ahold of her later today. I woke up at 6am this morning to find that the rest of the house was still asleep. When she woke up, Caitlin graced me with her lovely presence and then continued to make my day better by giving me a plaster hand print with her name toothpick carved into and a card written in Spanish. I was thrilled until she wouldn't translate and I can't read Spanish! Well I'm still thrilled, I just don't actually know what the card says yet. I guess it's time to pull out Google Translator. My plan had been to go to church this morning, but then Ryan informed me that we were supposed to be at his brothers house at 11am (which is only a 1/2 an hour after church starts) for Mother's Day Brunch with his sister and mom. I knew about and agreed to go to the brunch, but I'd been told that we needed to be there at 12-12.30. Ugh, it be nice if everyone could get on the same page when making plans. So around ten I started getting dressed and curling my hair *for the second day in a row!* when Caitlin walked in and asked me to curl her hair too. I was feeling especially blessed because Caitlin never wants me to do her hair and she won't let me anywhere near her head with a curling iron because the first time I tried to curl her hair I accidentally burned her. Sheesh kid its not like I meant too and it was like 3 years ago! Well we should have left by 10.30am to get to Matt's house by 11 and we didn't leave our house until 12.20pm because it took that long to get her hair and my hair curled. See this is why I don't do my hair-EVER. It shouldn't take 2 hours to get ready to go somewhere! Granted had it only been me it would have taken only 1/2 hour to 45mins, but still, that's a crazy long time when it takes about ten seconds to scrape it back into a pony tail. So we got to Matt's closer to the time I'd been invited and spent a couple of nice hours with the family. We ate and talked and laughed and played Mario Cart on the Wii and then came home to; crash for a nap= Ryan and Emily, watch a Mary Kate and Ashley movie= Caitlin, and facebook/blog= me. I should be cleaning my house right now because I invited a couple of Mormon boys to come over tomorrow for dinner. I'm such a sucker! They're these really sweet boys probably about 18-19 years old who live in our building and they're always so polite and they're ALWAYS asking if we'd like to hear about what they believe in. Most of the time I put them off with excuses that we're too busy and Caitlin goes to bed too early, but the other day they met Emily and one of them started talking about how he missed his black lab back home and before I knew what I was saying I invited them to come over for dinner. They jumped on the opportunity to share their beliefs with me (they are on a mission after all) and we set up a time for Monday at 6.30pm. My floors are vaccuumed right now, but my bathrooms need a good scrubbing and I'm pretty sure there are crumbs on my counters, but its Mother's day and I've already cleaned up from the brunch at Matt's house while the dads and kids played video games, so I'm not really feeling the whole cleaning thing. All in all it's been nice day, great weather, nice company, and it was even fun to get "all dolled up". Hope this day brought good fun and peace to your families as well. And Amy- I hope your move into your new home was smooth!

Gotta love Wal-Mart

I shouldn't judge. I hate it when I believe people are judging me because really, who do they think they are anyway? Until they've walked several miles in my shoes, until they've been faced with the same horrible, unacceptable choices that I've been faced with, they shouldn't judge. The same goes for me however. I mean, I don't actually know what events and circumstances have led you to make the decisions you're making, and maybe faced with the same factors I would make the same choice.... But sometimes its REALLY hard not to judge. Not about the 'big' things, like parenting styles and lifestyle choices, but about the little things, like what you're wearing in public.

Bless you Wal-Mart people for taking pictures like this and reminding me that I shouldn't make snap judgements about people. I can feel jealous of  the self confidence it takes to wear incredibly shiny clothes or hardly any clothes with your lady lumps hanging out in the back that will draw lots of attention (and a camera) to you. But I shouldn't say things like "WHAT THE H*LL ARE YOU WEARING LADY?" because maybe that's all you could afford to buy. Maybe you decided to sacrifice clothing that the rest of this country would consider socially acceptable in order to feed and clothe your children, or maybe your house burned down and you didn't have any insurance, or maybe... some other factor has contributed to your wardrobe choice. Regardless of why you chose to go out in public like this, I'll try not to judge you, but I'm not sure that I can stop myself from being entertained. So thank you people of Wal-Mart for entertaining the rest of the world and reminding us that we really shouldn't judge.

I need a maid.

I really need an open Saturday without my kid and without my dog and with a good girlfriend to keep me company so that I can clean my house. Now I don't mean I need to vaccuum my floors and clean the toilets. That kind of cleaning gets done regularly. Nope, I'm talking about the pull the refridgerator out and get on my hands and knees to scrub the disgustingness off the floor. And the pull the mini blinds off to scrub the built up dust and grime off of them. I'm talking about CLEANING my house. I really should follow the advice I give other people when they complain about their houses which is to go to the Flylady.net website to follow her cleaning schedule, but I'm impatient and a control freak. I want it done now! All in one day, not 15 minutes at a time. You'd think that by now I would have learned my lesson about letting go, but I haven't. I'm not going to let go and I'm booked on every Saturday between now and what feels like forever, so I'm going to keep being annoyed and cranky and probably continue to do nothing. Maybe someday I'll win the lottery so I can buy a ginormous house and hire a house keeper to clean it for me. Here's to wishful thinking:)

Top 3 Reasons today...

According to Caitlin today I am not the worlds greatest mom for the following reasons:

1. I made her go to YMCA inservice care today. All of our relatives in the area had to work, so rather than take the day off myself, I sent her to the "yucky old school". I figured that since I'm paying for care on these inservice days whether she goes or not, she can just go and I can save my vacation leave for something fun, like actual vacation.

2. When I picked her up at the end of the day I wouldn't let her do the monkey bars because she has open blisters on both hands from doing the monkey bars so many times.

3. When we got home I told her to go find an outfit for school tomorrw. Then when she brought a school inappropriate choice I told her she had to pick something else or at least add more clothes to the choice she'd already made.

To make the day even more horrendous (in Caitlin's opinion) I made her help me take out the trash and take three no thankyou bites of the tortellini with pesto that I made for dinner. Right now she's actually thankful that tomorrow is a school day just so she can get away from me. This all makes me happy. Earlier she told me "I am SO frustrated with you", which is A-Ok because it means that I am being a good mommy, forcing my child to be properly clothed, fed, safe and well mannered. YAY ME!

Hello Again.

I've been a bad blogger lately. I'd like to offer all sorts of wonderfully good excuses, but what it really boils down to is that at the end of the day I'd rather spend a little time with my husband than get on here and actually compose my thoughts. I've had lots of thoughts that I've considered sharing but then I look at the clock and think, I'll do it tomorrow. Sigh.  Well I'm here now so I'll give you an update on my life.  Caitlin and I started taking Tae Kwon Do together a few weeks ago. Since we started we've been the only family to consistently show up for every class and sometimes that's a good thing because it means we're getting more "one on one" attention from Master Lee who is out instructor. Other times though it's annoying because just before our class is a class of kids who are not always picked up on time and so Master Lee has to divide his time between our class and the lobby where he's checking on these kids who's parents clearly don't know how to tell time. When he's out in the lobby and it's just a couple of white belts in the class, there's no one to lead and that is frustrating! I get it that parents have to work and they have other responsibilities to take care of, but frankly my child comes first and if I can't commit to watching her activity then I either won't put her in it or I will at least make sure that I'm there on time to pick her up! Sometimes I wonder if these other parents even think about what kind of message they're sending to their children. "Sorry, son/daughter, I do love you, but I love XYZ more so I forgot to pick you up on time. Tomorrow I'll try to only be 10 mins late instead of 1/2 an hour." Poor kids are gonna grow up with a complex. In other news Caitlin saw her gastroenterologist on Thursday and he's diagnosed her with Irritable Bowel Syndrome. When I scheduled the appointment I told them I think she has IBS. I love being right. The bad news is that there is no "cure" and not any particular foods to avoid. The good news is she's in the 95th percentile for height so it's clearly not harming her ability to absorb nutrients (which I already knew thanks to google). So despite the fact that she already eats tons of fibrous vegetables he's recommended putting her on Benefiber twice a day. He said that the type of fiber offered in Benefiber will hopefully help her colon to absorb more liquid and help slow down the colon contractions so she doesn't always feel like she has to go right now!!! Poor kid. I really shouldn't complain, I mean she was born 10 weeks early she could have had a lot worse problems than a little reflux (which is gone now) and IBS (which she could have had regardless of preterm birth). It's just that I feel bad for her. As she gets older she'll be able to deal with it better, but in kindergarten (and even throughout her school career) it's embarrassing to have to run for the bathroom. What else has been going on you ask? Well we updated out computer software program at work which required our office to be "closed" for two weeks. Fortunately it's done, and despite a few minor annoying glitches that we've been assured are going to get fixed, it works and will ultimately be better overall. Oh! I don't think I posted anything about Easter. Did I? Well I can't remember so I'm going to tell you about it now anyway. The day before Easter my husband risked life and limb and stole my keys leaving me stranded at home contemplating whether or not I could get away with pre-meditated murder. Fortunately Sara saved the day and played Taxi driver. She picked us up and drove to Target where I did my best to make Ryan pay for his mistake by buying two pairs of new shoes and lots of other stuff I didn't really need, only to find out that he wasn't impressed with my spending spree because I don't often spend money on myself. Then it was off to the Goodwill for some inexpensive 100% silk ties to color Easter Eggs with. Sara found a video of Martha Stewart wrapping the raw eggs in silk ties, then covering them with a white cloth and then boiling them. The pattern from the ties transferred to the eggs and when they were boiled they were already done. We had marginal success with this process, but it was fun to watch Sara gleefully tear up the ties. We also boiled lots of eggs for Caitlin and Lauren (Sara's daughter) to decorate traditionally. Then I had Ryan pick us up after he got off of work so we could drive down to see my parents for the actual holiday. Easter morning was pretty cute because Caitie had forgotten/ didn't realize that it was Easter so when she got up it she was extremely surprised to see eggs "hidden" around the house. She came running back into the room to say "Mommy is it Easter today? There are eggs on the stairs!" I responded that it was indeed Easter and could she please be quiet because I was still trying to sleep. That was clearly not a good enough response because it was immediately followed with "DID THE EASTER BUNNY COME?!!!" Ack child! I have NO IDEA if the Easter bunny came, what part of I'm still trying to sleep don't you understand? Go downstairs quietly and check to see if the Easter bunny came! This was particularly fun for me because I LOVE IT when she's so excited for holidays like this and I want her to keep believing in the magic for as long as possible. The Easter bunny did in fact make an appearance gracing Caitlin with a copy of The Princess and the Frog and a big ol' chocolate rabbit. Then Amelia and Gabrielle came over with their Easter baskets and the kids disappeared outside with the dog for a while and then back inside to watch the new movie in the "exercise" room while the adults watched Sherlock Holmes in the living room. I visited with my mom a lot which was good until Ryan forced us to leave. Granted it was getting late and we had a 3 hours drive ahead of us, but that's not the point. I was already annoyed (read:TOTALLY P.O'd) with him from the day before so dragging me away from my mom was not endearing him to me at all.Lucky for him I forgive quickly and did understand that Caitlin had school the next day so I din't give him too hard of a time about leaving. I have also completely forgiven him and because I actually love him and want him to be safe...I bought him a new windshield! Am I an awesome wife or what? Of course I'm not an awesome house keeper and since we started Tae Kwon Do my house has been nearly as neglected as my blog so I really should take advantage of the fact that Caitlin is still asleep more than two hours after I got up and start cleaning.

My husband is not a very good girlfriend.

Earlier today I wrote this sweet stuff about Ryan because I was explaining some of his endearing qualities before letting it be known that as a girlfriend he stinks.

 Ryan is an incredible dad. He's dedicated, attentive, loving and all around wonderful. He takes Caitie fishing and to Daddy Daughter dances. He plays board games and basketball. He straddles the "man" world and the "little girl" world very well.  He really is a great husband too. He pays attention to me, he's caring, and willing to watch girly movies when I want him to and to get the hell out of my house to go fishing periodically. He goes to the store for feminine products and he helps out with the housework, he cooks most of the meals and still plays video games/rude word inducing basketball with the guys. Most of the time he's got a grip on what it takes to lead a balanced life in a house full of women.

Now I'm thinking about taking most of it back. I had an entire blog post written that I was just sort of holding onto for the day to see if I still felt the same way at the end of the day when my PMSing was in full swing I was tired and cranky. This evening after taking care of 3 1/2 year old twins and Caitlin all day, I was reading my friend Megan's blog and decided to read the latest post to him. He foolishly made rude comments about keeping a blog, so I had to read him some of the funnier posts that my friend Sara has written recently to show him that blogging is a good thing. I started talking about why I love blogging and that he just doesn't GET IT, and that cramping/bleeding/hormonal uproar is a serious issue and while I'm women are experiencing it we I should not be trifled with. My friend Sara on the other hand completely gets it. She wrote this funny tid bit that I was relaying to my husband while trying to explain to him why he's not a good girlfriend. That's when he really put his foot in it. He said that she should have PLANNED BETTER!!! As if buying a box of tampons immediately after finishing one period, so we're prepared for the next, is going to make everything all happy happy joy joy. Ugh. Even if we had an entire years supply stocked up in the closet, our husbands would inevitably do something stupid to piss us off we'd still find something else to be mad about. If we're not mad then we're probably in tears about something and that's gonna piss us off too. I told him that I was gonna tell Sara what he said about planning better and then I was gonna let her have him for breakfast. Because really, anyone dumb enough to tell a woman *who is in the middle of her period* that she wouldn't be having all the crazy hormonally driven symptoms if only she'd planned ahead  deserves whatever bad stuff they get.

I'm Better, She's Better, He'll get there.

So last week I posted all about the fun day I had, then I put Caitie to bed. Shockingly her tummy started to hurt as soon as I put her in bed. This is a common occurrence because bed= sleep and sleep = anxiety. What if she can't fall asleep? What if someone tries to break in her room? What if she gets hungry? What if...What if....What if.... Yes Caitie comes by her anxiety naturally because I believe a few weeks ago I was having similar 'what if' thoughts when I tried to close her bedroom door. So knowing how she's feeling, we went through our usually nighttime routine of calming the anxious nerves and she went to bed. A few hours later however she woke up and RAN to the bathroom. Then all hell broke loose. Actually I think some demons may have come in and set up residence in my daughters abdomen and then tried to break loose from there. It was HORRIFIC! It lasted three painful, gag inducing days for her and then those dreadful demons moved into my abdomen. Actually they started the moved to my body on the third day of inhabiting hers. That was also the day that I discovered that I am unnecessarily paying for after school care. You see, Ryan had to work and since I was 'home' and Caitlin was still too sick to go to school, he left her with me. He fed her breakfast, packed a non-perishable lunch and some snacks, and left a bottle of water on the table for her. Then he gave her the remote to the XBOX so that she could watch movies via Netflix's instant steaming and said be a good girl. So as I thought about how dying would be so much more enjoyable than what I was currently enduring, my six year old demonstrated remarkable maturity by not needing me at all. She not only took care of herself, she also managed to let the dog in and out to go potty, throw the ball down the hallway so the dog could have some exercise and give the dog fresh water. I suppose being there in body counts if I needed to direct her on the specifics of calling 911 but there is also the strong possibility that she could have handled that on her own too. Thank GOD that she was already on the mend by day three because I was pretty much non-functional all day that day. By the next day those evil demon spawn discovered that there was an uninfected inhabitant of our home and set up residence in Ryan's gut. Poor guy. He's still sick, but getting better. The lifespan of Satan's minions appears to be only three days, but ugh...what an awful three days they were! I'm sooooo thankful to be done with this and would not have any hurt feelings at all if EVERY SINGLE emesis producing bacteria/virus on the planet were to suddenly become an extinct species.

Today...

Today I have:

*Skipped Church
*Texted multiple times with my friend Sara
*Agreed to and watched my nephew Lucas
*Facebooked an invite for other people to come play Twister with us
*Vacuumed my whole house
*Played Twister with Lucas and Caitlin
*Acted as a referee when playing time became fighting time
*Cleaned my kitchen
*Allowed my daughter to call my friend Sara and leave a message on her voicemail
*Resisted the urge to call/text Sara to tell her to ignore Caitlin's drama-princess tone of voice in said voicemail
*Done all my laundry-even putting it away properly
*Played ball with my dog
*Read Berenstain Bears books to Caitie and Lucas
*Fed those two children about 538902 times so far
*Listened to Mama Mia (movie version) while the kids sorta watched it
*Set them up to play "Puppy Pal's" on Caitlin's Leap Frog Click Start
*Checked my email
*Caught up on all the blogs I read regularly
*Changed several diapers
*Unsuccessfully tried to convince Lucas that he's ready to use the big boy potty

Today I wanted to:

*Eat some ice cream (I will resist, I will resist, I will resist!)
*Take a nap
*Turn the care of the children over to my husband (if only he'd come home from fishing so I could do that)
*Look at some old photo's and remember previous lovely days
*Go to the movies (sans children) and lose myself in mindless entertainment for a couple of hours

Today (tonight/right now) I am going to:

*Go make another meal for the kiddos- just call me a short order cook
*Get clothes laid out so tomorrow morning will be less of a hassle
*Make sure that lunches are packed for tomorrow
*Wrangle the little ones into and then out of the tub so they won't stink
*Clean the bathroom when they're done
*Pack Caitlin's school bag with extra clothes and library books to be returned
*Play referee again and again between the cousins
*Send Lucas home with his parents (explain to Caitie that he can't stay any later)
*Put Caitie to bed
*Explain that its a school night so for the bazillionth time NO she may NOT stay up late.
*Turn the TV on and enjoy some mindless entertainment

Yep, today was just another typical Sunday in my beautiful life.

Hippie Chics Let it all Hang Out.

Well its been a little more than an hour since I was debating on whether or not to wake up Ryan and he's still asleep. Which is truly a testament to how much I love him, cause a BIG part of me wanted to wake him up just so he could feel as pissy as I did.... But I resisted temptation and instead spent a lovely time re-reading some posts on Sara's blog and then checking my email. I am SOOO glad I check my email. My friend Megan sent this really funny forward to me about Hippie Chics and what free love looked like then:

And what it looks like all these years later:

I laughed so hard I'm surprised Ryan and Caitlin didn't wake up!!! I hope when I'm as old as the hippie chic I have the same sense of self confidence to just let it all hang out! Either she has an INCREDIBLE, ENVIABLE confidence in herself or she did so many drugs as a young free lover that she fried the portion of the brain responsible for self preservation:)